30 Fathers in 30 Posts: John Query

 

I am fortunate.  Although some ancestors of my two biological parents may have crossed paths at some point in their lives, there are no common ones among them. They were not related at all, as has been verified by Gedmatch. My four grandparents, two of whom had consanguinity among their own heritage, did not cross with each other. My maternal grandfather's family came primarily from Southside Viriginia, and Jamestown prior to that. My maternal grandmother's family has been the hardest to nail down but seem to have made a path from the easternmost counties of North Carolina, through either Wilmington and up through Fayetteville and the Cape Fear River, or from the Orange and Warren County way down through Moore and Chatham, through Montgomery into Stanly from the East. My paternal grandfather's family was among the bunch who settled in the western part of the county, some coming from Edgecombe, Franklin and Johnston Counties before landing around the Stanly/Cabarrus border. But my paternal grandmother's ancestry was of a different sort, Scotch-Irish, some German, who settled in Mecklenburg County. A rebellious group of Patriots, most who had come down from Pennsylvania and settled around the Mint Hill area, and some into Cabarrus.

Mecklenburg County, North Carolina has the exultant and profound possession of an event that I have a strong family connection to, and they have patriotic attachment to, the Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence. This extraordinary, but debatable, document declared the citizens of Mecklenburg County free of British Rule and predated the official document signed in Philadelphia by over a year. 

A group of Carolina dignitaries and citizens had gotten word of the goings on in Lexington and Concord. Disquieted and disconcerted by the events, they gathered at the Courthouse, and forged a list of resolutions that included the dissolution of loyalty to the crown, the establishment of a local government and the sovereignty of such, a cancelation of anyone who cooperated with the Tories, and the establishment of a militia to enforce their plans and independence. 

Many locals considered the event and document with levity, but the hearts of the men who penned it were steadfast, and my grandmother, thus myself, is descended from five of them. One of those men was John Query.

John Query was my 7th Great Grandfather. From he, and his wife, Elizabeth, came a daughter Mary Elizabeth, who married John Lemmond (Lemmon, Lemmons), who, in conjunction with his father, surgeon William Marr Lemmonds, was also a Revolutionary War patriot, and also lived in the Clear Creek Community. William Lemmonds had also been a constable, like John Query. Through the Lemmonds a genetic trail was created that traveled down to my paternal grandmother, born a Lemmons, and then to me. As I am now a grandmother, John Query is the 9th Great Grandfather of my grandchildren, as are a collection of these old patriots.

When one thinks of Mecklenburg County, this day and time, one thinks of the City of Charlotte, which is threatening to swallow it, and surrounding counties, whole. But Charlotte was not the first town in Mecklenburg County. Why, it wasn't more than a village until well into the 1800's. There was a time Cottonville, in Stanly County, was a larger community than Charlotte. Instead, Mint Hill was the first town in what is now Mecklenburg, settled in 1750 by Scotch-Irish pioneers, most who had traveled from Pennsylvania and Maryland. This group, not the only Scottish blood swirling in mine, comprises of about 20 to 25 percent of my DNA.  In 1768, Charlottetown, a name that would be shortened later, received a charter to become the county seat, but citizens of the eastern part of it were not accepting of that, or happy about it. The Rocky River Community that consisted of mostly the Scotch-Irish and a German group that had settled on Buffalo Creek, tolerated this decision for about three decades, but by the 1790's, they were pushing for a new county, that became Cabarrus. 

Three men are usually noted as the founders of the town of Mint Hill; John Ford, a judge for the Salisbury District, Adam Alexander, a magistrate, and John Query, a constable and tax collector. The last two are ancestors of mine.

There is a lot of misinformation concerning John Query, as there is with many individuals who lived here prior to the Revolution. The general consensus of the best sources is that he was of Scottish decent. Several online have him coming from Belfast, Ireland, however. Where that came from, I don't know. He was granted or purchased 100 acres in Cumberland County, Pennsylvania in 1755, so this was the era he settled there. 

What is proved by records, is that he arrived in New York, New York, in 1739, as his name is found in "A List of the Persons Brought from Scotland by Captain Lauchlin Campbell".

The name is of Scottish Gaelic origin but has since spread to different regions where variations developed. Its roots are from the Isle of Ulva and the Hebrides, and derives from the Gaelic name Guaire, which means noble or proud, and traces back to the Siol Alpin, descendants of Kenneth Mac Alpine, the first king of Scotland from the 9th Century A.D.

Another issue of debate was the name of his wife. There is a very old D. A. R. record of a Miss Mary Stewart who tied her membership to the organization from her decent from John Query. In it, she claimed his wife was named Ellen Davis before marriage. The record is from the 1920's and I am not certain what the organization, founded in 1890, required as proof at that time. There did exist a prominent Davis family, of no connection to my mother's Davis family, who lived in Virginia still at this time, in Olde Mecklenburg, but no record of a marriage. Some online family trees link a marriage record of a John Query and an Ellen Davis from 1884 to their trees, without noticing two blatant facts that discredit it. One, the year is nearly a century after the death of John Query the Patriot, and two, the two individuals who married in 1884 were African American, not Scottish. 

Miss Stewart also has the year of his death as 1805 which is in clear conflict with the probate of his estate, which took place in 1797.

Admin of John Query Sr. Deceased

Bond October Term 1797

These papers imply that he passed away earlier in the year of 1797.

'Elizabeth Query widow and relict of John Queiry Deceased to William Query for her right of Dower to her husband's lands bearing date the 23rd Day of May 1799 by William Wilson Esqr. '

In 1799, John's wife is clearly named as Elizabeth, not Ellen, in the court records of her Petition of Dower. Whether or not she was a first wife, or a second wife, I have no knowledge, but she was his widow. 

The above page is an excerpt from the estate file of John Query naming the heirs of John Query bound to the county of Mecklenburg during the settlement of the estate and the name were Elizabeth Query, Jonathan Query, James Orr and John Stewart. I believe this to be the daughter, Elizabeth and not the widow, Elizabeth.

The 1790 census, the first one of the new nation, was the only one that John Query appeared in. He was interestingly sandwiched between William Query, Sr. and William Query, Jr.  Coincidentally, they lived near two James Orrs, Whistling James Orr and one other. 'Whistling' James Orr married Margaret Jane Lemmonds and Sarah McConnell. The other may have been his son, as he had one named James, as did Nathan Orr. Records referred to different James Orrs as 'Jockey' James Orr and 'Heretic' James Orr to differentiate between them. It would be interesting to discover how their names had come about. 

The fourth Query in Mecklenburg County was Alexander, found way out in left field near John Reed, of Gold Mine fame, who lived in what is now Cabarrus County. Sure to form, Alexander is the only Query in Cabarrus County in the 1800 census. Alexander was known to have arrived with John Query from Philadelphia around 1750- 1755. They are believed to have been brothers, along with William Sr., seen above. 

According to a biography of Alexander Query, the brothers were sons of Rev. Thomas Query and wife, Eleanor. This may be where the "Ellen" came from. I can neither authenticate, nor disprove this theory.

Alexander Query lived until 1805. He had married Margaret "Peggy" McCord and was the father of Robert W. Query, Elenor Ellen Query Alexandeer, Agnes Nancy Query Alexander, Margaret, John and James.

1800 Census of Mecklenburg

The 1800 census of Mecklenburg County, NC shows a Robert, William and Jonathan Query together in a row. These are thought to be sons of John Query. Alexander, the only living Query of the first-generation lived in Cabarrus and his son Robert had not yet started his own household. 

An interesting connection John Query had was that to a man named Benjamin Lowery. Upon his death, John Query became guardian to his children, John, Mary, David and then separately, Benjamin Lowery, Jr. This wasn't the typical court placement to any family man in good standing in the community. These children were old enough to choose their own guardian, while yet under 21. Was there a family connection? Something I'd like to look into. This document was dated August 22, 1777. 

In John Query's 1797 estate sale, some 13 years later, the buyers list is led by William Query, then John Lemmons, his known son-in-law, and then Benjamin Lowery. This would have been Ben Jr. to whom he had been Guardian of.

Revolutionary War Voucher for John Quer

Despite having been born abroad, John Query was without doubt an American Patriot. He was not a hot-headed adventure thirsty youth when war broke out. He was a well-grounded public servant of his middle years, in his forties. He participated in the campaign against Tories at Raft Swamp. He also served as a juror, tax collector and census taker, and served in the Clear Creek Militia. There he was promoted to Colonel. 

It is said he lived in the section of Mecklenburg that would become Union in 1842.

He is noted as one of the founders of Mint Hill, and one of the three founding members of the Clear Creek Meeting house, that would become known as Philadelphia Presbyterian, where many generations of my family are buried.

There are multiple land records tied to John Query, but I'm only featuring a few that I find historically important. The one above shows that John Query obtained his first tract of land in North Carolina from Arthur Dobbs, and not Selwyn who owned most of Mecklenburg County at the time. To transcribe the above excerpt, " This Indenture made the twenty fifth Day of June in the year of Our Lord one thousand seven hundred and fifty- four Between his Excellency Arthur Dobbs Esquire Captain General Governor  and Commander in Chief for and over the Province of North Carolina and Justine his wife of the one part and John Query of the County of Mecklenburg in the Province aforesaid of the other Part Witnesseth the said Arthur Dobbs and Justine his wife for and in consideration of  the thirteen pounds proclamation money in his hand paid by the said John Query at or before the.....130 acres on Goose Creek.

Goose Creek today runs through Union County, beginning, (or ending as the vantage point may be) at the Rocky River on the Stanly County/ Union County border. It follows most precisely, the Hopewell Church Road and through the community of Fairview, crosses Lawyer's Road and ends (or begins) at a pond near the Indian Trail- Fairview Road.

Goose Creek Township borders New Salem Township to the east, Monroe to the South, Vance to the west and Stanly and Cabarrus Counties to the North. A number of ancestors lived in Goose Creek, including the German Starnes (Sternes).

Abner Nash

The second one of importance was between John Query and Abner Nash. Abner Nash, an attorney by trade, was the second governor of North Carolina, and held the office between 1780 and 1781. He married Justine, the widow of the former Colonial Governor Arthur Dobbs, which is how he had came into the possession of this particular tract of land. 

This Indenture made the Twenty first day of? in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and seventy five between Abner Nash of the county of Halifax and Province of North Carolina of the one part and John Query of the County of Mecklenburg and Province aforesaid of the other part...sum of five pounds ten shillings Proclamation money to the said Abner Nash...55 acres beginning at his old corner at a blackjack on the waters of Goose Creek.

Another researcher has stated that the Query property was in or near the Fairview Community.

The third important deed dealt with the founding of the Presbyterian Church.

'This Indenture made the fourth day of February in the year of our Lord  one thousand seven hundred and eighty between Samuel Montgomery of the county of Mecklenburg in the State of North Carolina farmer of one part and Adam Alexander, Francis Harris, Matthew Stuart John Ford and John Query of the county and state aforesaid, trustees for the congregation of Rocky Springs..sum of  Five pounds currency...

There are many mentions of John Query in history books on Mecklenburg County, or North Carolina. The abovementioned is from "North Carolina Biographies 1846", Wheeler. This gentleman was knowledgeable of the early leaders of the Presbyterian movement in North Carolina and the South at large. The mention of John Query was in a Chapter of John McKemie Wilson, a minister, who also happens to be my direct ancestor, a sixth Great Grandfather, one generation closer than Query.

Fairview. Genealogies, History Records

The above is concerning Mary Stewart, an early member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, who joined under the services of John Query. 

Above is the list of the Light Horse Company under Captain Charles Polk and his Company to Cross Creek. Listed are my ancestors, William Lemmond and his son John, John Query and his son, Jonathan, (only an ancestorial uncle). 

An 1884 account of Mecklenburg Reminiscences describes John Query in the manner below:

' John Query, a native of Scotland, came to this country and settled on Clear Creek, in this county/ He was a man of good estate and true literary tastes.' Land records show he first settled on Goose Creek but frequented the Clear Creek community. Another book, 'Sketches of North Carolina' reported, "John Query one of the convention at Charlotte (referring to the Mecklenburg Resolves) belonged to the bounds of Rocky River (referring to the Church Congregation) ...He, Adam Alexander and Moses Shelby lived on the bounds of what is now Philadelphia called for a time, Clear Creek. These two were both elders of the Church.'

Above are the Mecklenburg Resolves as written.

Below is the list of signers.

One had to have possessed an extreme amount of courage and mettle to have taken part in a subversive act such as this. I am related directly or indirectly to the Query, Wilson, Phifer, Morrison, McLure, Irwin, Harris, Davidson, and Alexanders, and proud of them all.

Newspapers.com

The above paragraph concerning John Query described him as a "home-and-farm' man which brings to mind an image of a simple, hard-working family man. He was known as an erudite and learned man, called a "scholar" and known for his exceptional mathematic skills. The paragraph was from 1784, when he was still alive, so I trust its accuracy more than reports from one hundred plus years later. 

The column below was the answer to a question from Mary Stewart to a columnist and local historian, Mrs. Caldwell, in 1921. It questions the connection between William and John Query, who were known to be brothers and had lived side by side, and Alexander Query, who had arrived with them, but had chosen a different part of the county to settle in. Most people have the three as brothers as they arrived to Mecklenburg together. They could have been two brothers and a cousin, but it is very doubtful they were not related at all. One hundred and fifty years later is a great deal of family separation and the knowledge may have just been lost by Lloyd M. Querys' grandfather, also named John Query.

The Charlotte Observer Charlotte, North Carolina • Wed, Jul 20, 1921Page 13

The above was in response to Mary Stewarts question below. I would like to know who now has in their Possession the old family records of the Query's in Pennsylvania that Lloyd M. Query referred to. 

The Charlotte Observer Charlotte, North Carolina • Sun, Jul 17, 1921Page 8

I am led to believe this must have been the same Miss Mary Stewart who tied her D. A. R. membership to her descent from John Query, through his daughter Eleanor's marriage to John Stewart.

Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence

20 May 1775

Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, USA

Document / Certificate

Copy of Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence

With the 250th Anniversary of the United States of America coming up, I am proud to feature one of my several  Patriot ancestors.

The descendants of John Query, excluding my own line, I can't profess to have spent any due amount of time on, or can verify as truth. My own line of descent from daughter Elizabeth and her husband, John Lemmonds, is well documented with their five children:

1786- unknown  Elizabeth Lemmond

1787 - 1858  John Query Lemmond

1791-1864 William Thomas Lemmond

1793-1849 Robert M Lemmond

1802-1825 Elenor Lemmond

The Lemmond name had multiple spellings and transformations, with a d, without a d, with an s, without an s, one m, two m's. Just as Query was also spelled Quary, Querie, Queiry. Spelling varied even within the same document in reference to the same person, so nothing to be concerned with in its variance.

Other speculative children of John Query and wife were:

A) Jonathan Query (circa 1759-1817)  William Query and Robert Query were co-administrators of his estate. Deeds were bonded, or witnessed by John Query before his death. John Lemmonds is mentioned in his estate records. He is mentioned in John Query's estate records. 

B) William C. Query (1761-1846) The sons of John and Elizabeth Query Lemmonds are mentioned in his estate records and two of them were administrators.

C) Robert Query (1763-1827) married Ellen Lemmond, a sister of my ancestor John Lemmond who had married his sister, Elizabeth. They were the parents of six children: Mary Ann QueryVan Pelt, Cyrus Query, Henderson Query, Newton Query, Martha Query Cochran and Robert Jr. In Mr. Wheelers early report and brief biographies of the Mecklenburg Signers, he had stated, "there was only one son, Cyrus Query, who died some years past" when referencing John Query the Signer. This was incorrect information, as Cyrus Query was a clearly documented grandson, having been born after the death of his grandfather, and son of Robert.

D) Jane Query (1765-1792) married Joseph Harris and moved to Greene County, Georgia. Four children: Jesse, Prissy, Mary and Joseph, Jr.

The above, including, Elizabeth Query Lemmonds, are pretty sound. The two oldest sons, Jonathan and Willam, died unmarried and childless. 

Two other daughters, who are not so set in stone were Mary Query who married John Stewart and was the ancestor of Mary Stewart of the DAR and Margaret Query who married John Orr, Jr. They are buried at the Philadelphia Church Cemetery, so quite possible, but also possible to have been nieces instead. 

A salute to all of our Patriot predecessors and Happy 250th birthday America!

Rocky Spring Meeting House Burying Ground

30 Dads in 30 Days: Dad

 

What better place to start a post on the fathers in my family tree than with my own. I have two, to be honest, not an odd situation in modern American families. I differentiated between the two by calling one Daddy, and the other Dad. It was Dad who made me and Daddy who raised me, and no one can make me choose between them. Except my mother, she could be very consistent in that area, and I don't fault her.

Families are what they are, and by measure, I believe I was blessed with a good one. People are what they are, as well, and no one is perfect, we all make mistakes. It's how things end up at the end that matters the most, I believe.  

Melvin Eugene Lambert was born December 11, 1939, in the small community of Aquadale, NC, in Stanly County. He graduated from Aquadale School, although between the time he was born and the time he graduated, he had lived all around from across the Rocky River in Anson County, to the Cannon Mill Village in Concord, to the old Cottonville community where his mother had attended the Old Davis School and his father had been raised by aunt, Mattie Lambert Smith. Dad's mother, Bertha Virginia Lemmons, was the stepdaughter of one Duncan Burris. His father, Burley Melvin Lambert, was the son of Rowena Burris Lambert, Duncan's sister. So, that's how his parents met. Dad was the firstborn of three children. He had a younger brother, Leon Dickson Lambert, born in 1941 and a sister, Midred Olene, born in 1945. They're all deceased now, Aunt Mildred, the youngest was the first to go, Dad was in the middle and Uncle Leon was the last. 

My mother grew up in Albemarle, NC. As a teen she enjoyed hanging out at the local YMCA. They had a pool, a skating rink in the Pavilion, a bowling alley in the basement, a teen club, a library and a playground. One day, she was hanging out with her friend, Ginny, and two boys from South Stanly drove up. One was my Dad, and the other was his cousin, Edgar. I always referred to Edgar as Uncle, and they were close as brothers, but he was actually a first cousin. Mom ended up marrying Dad and Edgar married Ginny.

Dad had enlisted, or had been drafted by then,

Stanly News and Press

Albemarle, North Carolina • Fri, Jan 30, 1959Page 20

The marriage took place on January 30, 1959 in South Carolina, where many local couples went to get married because the South Carolina laws were less intrusive.

They first lived in Phoenixville, PA, at the Valley Forge base, after an initial boarding with my grandparents. Thereafter, Dad was transferred to Stuttgart, Germany. When my mother became pregnant with me, she transferred back to the Valley Forge base, where I was born to avoid all the issues with dual citizenship. 

War

Dad was very much a military man. He was a Militaty Policeman (MP) in the US Army. He served during both the Korean and Vietnam Wars. I would stop short of saying he was career military, like his brother Leon, who was recalled into his sixties, but he was in for a significant part of his working career and the fact and a huge impact on his personality and preferences. He loved books, movies and documentaries with military themes. I can recall him watching synchronized marching on his computer during his later years. 

Pauline

There was an important part of my Dad's life I didn't know about until about six years ago. When my mother and I were Stateside and my Dad was stationed in Stuttgart, he met a beautiful British lady named Pauline. Pauline was in Germany for military reasons as well, but I can't recall what her exact position with the British troops were. By this time, my parents marriage was already on the rocks for other reasons. I was a very young child, so I was totally unaware of the particulars. 

Dad and Pauline fell in love, had a long period of contact, and traveled together. My mother never knew about Pauline and I believe Pauline wasn't told the truth about my mother and myself. All of this fell strictly on my father. I loved my Dad, still knowing what kind of man he was in his younger years. He was very young when I was born, but was a Romeo well into middle age. He loved the ladies. 

Pauline became the mother of his second child and oldest son. Vinny was born a week or so before I turned three. I know that he kept promising to divorce my mother and marry Pauline. I also know she flew all the way to Canada to be closer to him. But Vincent grew up in Leicestershire with his mother and maternal grandparents. We were able to find each other through DNA before our Dad passed away, and he was able to meet Dad in person. 

The Divorce 

Stanly News and Press

Albemarle, North Carolina · Friday, April 02, 1965

In 1965, my mother filed for divorce from my father after a two year separation. We were living in North Carolina with my maternal grandparents and my Dad was still in the military. Infidelity was only one of the issues. My Dad would appear on rare occasions and visit me at my daycare. Mrs. Holt, who ran it, was a sentry to ensure he did not abscond with me, but I don't think he ever had any intentions to. I remember a few small gifts he bought for me during that time, a group of Disney stuffed Dalmatian puppies in various poses, a Cinderella watch with a matching porcelain figurine. Things like that.

Stanly News and Press

Albemarle, North Carolina • Fri, Apr 26, 1963Page 4

In 1963, my Dad had been arrested for no support. I didn't know about that until I saw it in the newspapers as an adult.

My mother never kept my father's identity or things she knew about his life away from me. He had sent photos of himself from various countries he'd traveled to. There were several, like the one of him in Buckingham Palace, of him in the UK. My brother had identical photos of him. I hadn't known that Pauline was the one who took them.

Wanda

Dad married his second wife in 1967. She was a local girl. She and my mother shared an uncle as her father's brother was married to my mother's aunt, my granddaughters sister. 

I don't know how true it is was, but I was told that Dad had fallen in love with Wanda when she was only thirteen. He would have been 18, so that was a no-go. He then met my mother. When Wanda came of age, he began to pursue her.

Stanly News and Press

Albemarle, North Carolina • Tue, Sep 19, 1967Page 15

I never met Wanda, but came close a few times. They always reminded me of Paul McCartney and Linda Eastman. Dad was a very handsome man in his youth. Wanna was blonde, but kind of plain. She was tall and slim, with a long face, rather horsy.  

This began the no contact years. Wanda wanted all of Dad's attention and resources. She didn't want him to have anything to do with me or my mother. He was obsessed with her, and obeyed her wishes. 

They had two sons, the first when I was twelve, and the second when I was 16. When I was a senior in Highschool, this marriage also ended. When I turned 18, the no-contact order ended. Dad sent me a dozen roses and a card, stating he would like to meet in person and get to know me as an adult, well an almost adult. I would not, at this stage of life, call the 18 year old me and adult. 

Curious, I took him up it. My mother wasn't too happy about it, but as I told her, whenever she got mad at me, she would say I was just like him. I wanted to know what that meant.  I have my father's brown eyes, as my mother had beautiful light blue ones. Otherwise, I look just like her, just taller. 

So, after an absence of a full decade, I got to know my Dad. He regressed a bit as a single man in his late thirties, and took on some habits of a younger man for awhile. He dated several ladies during this single spell. One was a girl I knew, who was two years my junior. When he asked me what I thought of a stepmother two years younger than me, I was brutally honest. The girl was a wonderful person, but she was only 22. I was 24. She already had one child and I told my Dad she would probably want another, with him, that he was too old to be having another kid, which of course he wasn't, and that he had enough and didn't need to be starting over with another, which was true. He was paying child support for two already. 

This was the time I got to know my brothers, as children. Dad would get them on weekends, twice a month. Both were tall and slim, but the oldest was very reserved. He looked so much like his mother. The younger one looked a great deal like the other, but had Dad's dark eyes and hair. He was the sweetest little thing, all smiles and laughter, only four when I became a mother myself. 

During Dad's single years, I had married and had two children, three years apart. He dated several nice ladies more his age. One named Lynn, I absolutely loved, and wished he had married her. They dated for a significant amount of time.

I'm not sure why that relationship ended, but I recall afterwards that he introduced me to a lady named Carol. It wasn't that long afterwards that it was no longer Carol, but Jackie, a lady with a little girl. After a number of months, he announced he was getting married again, and it wasn't to Jackie, but Carol. I can't remember exactly what happened there.

The third marriage was to a divorcee with three teenagers. My two children were two and five when they were married. Dad still got the boys on weekends. One weekend, they crawled out of the window during the middle of the night and walked to their mother's parents house. And that was the end of that. I don't know the whole story, I'm sure, and probably never will, but the boys and Dad became estranged.

Everything was fine as long as he was single, but as their mother hadn't wanted him to have anything to do with me and my mother, she didn't want her boys around another 'mother' figure and her children. What ever plot was concocted, it worked.

The boys grew up to be intelligent, well- educated young men with successfull careers and families of their own. 

Career

When Dad first left the military, he became a police officer, a natural transition, as he had been a military police officer. During this time, he suspected his second wife of being unfaithful and has become a private investigator. After the divorce, he returned to college and got a degree in computers and later worked at a manufacturing company in their computer lab until his retirement.

His third marriage started out happy. They traveled together, built a successful business together and it felt like a family for a good long time. They lived in there different, increasingly nicer homes, even purchasing a vacation home. That lasted about a decade. His wife was excited when I had my third child, as it was the first grandchild she could experience from birth. During this marriage, my first husband died, and they were very supportive. I would remarry and have my fourth and final child. Soon after, a year later, she would have her first grandchild and that's when things first started going south. When it went bad, it went horribly bad, and this one wasn't on him. She lost her mind to the point of criminality, and it cost him dearly in more ways than one. 

Dad was single again, and by this time he was a senior citizen. He had a number of health problems during this time, including cancer and heart trouble. His hearing started getting worse, although it was never good due to old war wounds. He was in a jeep that hit a landmine and killed the driver. The Jeep flipped due to the blast and became a sheild for Dad, but his hearing was damaged for life. One of his army buddies wrote a book, and the story of Dad and the blast was in it. 

Dad may have been absent for an integral part of my life, but he made up for it in the years since. He was a wonderful grandfather to my children and great grandfather to my grandchildren.

Dad and my grandson Linus 

Dad stayed active, even after his retirement. He acquired an electric group of friends. He frequented restaurants and went to dances and hung out with a group of older folks I called 'The puzzle pack'.

That's where he met Ellen. By the time he married Ellen, I was already a grandmother, my first grandchild being about eight months old. Ellen was a widow with two grown sons and two little grandsons. She lived a County over way out in the country. This one would stick 

I do believe the decade my Dad spent with Ellen was the happiest one of his life. She was the only wife he was loyal to. They lived in a quiet, woodsy area surrounded by farms. They loved to go dancing and socializing with friends. I was gaining a few inlaw kids and grandkids during this time. 

The DNA tests

I took a DNA test some 13 years ago now. The first puzzling DNA match was through GEDmatch. A girl about the same age as my oldest daughter messaged me asking if I had recent German ancestry. At that time, I really didn't understand the numbers. I told her I had German ancestry, through my Starnes and associated lines, but they had came to America in the middle 1700's. We couldn't figure out the connection, so lost contact. She was from Stuttgart. Remember Stuttgart? Now, I believe she could have been a half-niece, or at least a first cousin, as my uncle had also been stationed there.

Several years later, I understand the metrics of DNA a little better, knowing the definition of segments and centimorgans, and roughly what range of them applies to closer relationships. One day a close genetic match pops up. My British brother had decided to take a DNA test with the same company I had and found me. Several months later, his family flew over and met their American kin. He wasn't sure Dad was still alive, being 78, but he was. I'm glad they had that time together.

My brother looks so much like Dad, just taller, and Dad was tall.

He also met a new granddaughter, my brother's child.

Since then, I believe another strange match made contact. And it begins with a memory. During Dad's last marriage, my two daughters were digging through a box of Dads pictures, at his welcome, of his military days. They found a picture of Dad with a Vietnamese woman and a couple of children. My oldest daughter asked him who they were. He said they were his friends family. My daughter said, "Papaw, that boy has your nose!" My stepmom, my other daughter and I all laughed, but Dad didn't. The moment escaped my mind until more recently, when another match popped up. This one was half Vietnamese, and half, well pretty much everything I am. Add to that, a strong resemblance to my Dad, as much as my brother and even more than his other two sons. I was very inquisitive and excited, but this time, it didn't go as well as the last time. We spoke. His English was 'broken', but I understood him fairly well. His childhood had been bad. He had married and had several children, he was now on a second marriage, a recent one at that. He said he would have a sob call as his English was better. And after that, he disappeared. Maybe he wasn't expecting a DNA test to find a welcoming family. But they are out there. I'm waiting to find the rest of my international siblings. 

Dad died in March of 2021 at the age of 81. His widow survives. He may have missed 10 years of my childhood, but he spent the next 43 making up for it. 

Thirty Fathers in Thirty Days

 

A few years back, I was recovering from an injury and had the entire month of May off. This twist of fate left me at liberty to spend a significant amount of time, which is a rare treasure in my life, on my blog. As Mother's Day was drawing nigh, I decided to start a series which I titled, "30 Mothers in 30 Days" about the female ancestors in my family tree. Of course, they were all mothers, their DNA was passed down through the generations, to me and to others, some just a few, like my own mother and others further back with descendants now numbering in the thousands. This year, I'm going to do the same thing with my fathers, and up the family tree from them. 

This time it will take much longer than 30 days, as my time is very limited. I'm still calling it 30 Fathers in 30 days, because, well, because I can. Perhaps I should call it 30 Fathers in 30 posts. 

Choosing which fathers to write about will be a chore indeed. Many I've written about before. Others, I have very little information on. As I did with my 'Mothers', I would like to represent a variety of them ,some from more recent generations, others from as far back as I can go. I'd like to feature ancestors with variety of life experiences, although I come from a great many farmers and ministers. Add names to the qualifiers. I could probably create 30 posts just about ancestors named John. I will feature a few, but not all of them. I'd like to explore fathers from different branches, from both parents, and all four grandparents. 

The ones I've chosen, in no particular order, are:

1) John Query                                                 16) Stark Ramsey

2) Connor Dowd                                             17) Francis Lowthorp

3) Andrew Dennis                                      18) Richard Pace

4) Jarvis Winfield                                     19) Job Calloway

5) Captain John Starnes                           20) Joachim Hudson  

6) Micajah Exum                                      21) Ludwell Carpenter

7) Captain James Davis                            22) Claborn Mauldin

8) Caleb Aldridge                               23)James Baldwin Atkins

9) George Washington Turner                   24) Col. Alexander Erwin

10) Rev. William Fincher                          25) Erasmus Presler 

11) Rev. William McGregor                      26) Harvey Lafayette Lemmons

12) Matt Hill                                              27) Mathias Marriott  

13) Buck Lambert                                      28) John Huneycutt  

14) Josiah Abshire                                     29) Jonah Mauldin  

15) Benjamin Gould                                  30) Rev. William Solomon